Many arguments
that people have are usually over relatively unimportant issues. When you are in
a third person’s perspective, you have a clear mind and can pick the most
logical and feasible way to proceed with ease. However, when involved in a
heated argument, a clouded mind may cause you to speak without filters.
Many years
ago, back when I was still in secondary school, I often struggle to wake up in
the morning for classes. I did not own an alarm clock, nor did I bother learning
how to use the alarm option in my phone, and as a result, I was constantly late
for classes. Back then, my not so independent self only relied on my mother to
wake me up every morning. If she oversleeps, I over oversleep. Being able to
sleep without a care in the world during mornings is like taking a short trip
to Shangri-La. I was in seventh heaven until my mother came knocking on the door
demanding I was going to be late for school if I continued sleeping. The drastic
change in mood made me antsy, and to top it off, it was always five minutes before
my actual waking up time. During mornings, time passes much slower, making five
minutes like an hour or so. After losing an hour of sleep, it is impossible to
sleep back because it will already have passed my actual waking up time. The
thought of it made me more frustrated at that moment. While I was calculating the time loss in sleep, she
sneakily sneak on the lights while my poor eyes are wide open. That was the
last straw and it sparked the first minor heated argument. Although I have
tried talking to her nicely about these many times, she does not make changes,
and this resulted in arguments after arguments.
To the
readers, if you were in my shoes, how would you handle this situation?
Revised on 26 February 2018
Read and commented on Roland, Shumin and Gordon
Thanks for sharing this family scenario, Huan Choon. It is clear and concise, though not always accurate (consistent) in terms of verb tense usage.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading the various informed suggestions for a resolution of the issue.
Hi Brad. Thank you for taking time to read my post. I really appreciate it and have noted down your feedbacks.
DeleteHi Huan Choon!
ReplyDeleteI understand your frustration especially when our beauty sleep is interrupted. A few years back, I also experienced the same problem as you. Waking up for school was a battle. Worst still, my father used to pour a pail-load of water on my face when I got too stubborn. That soon changed gradually as I began to see things from their perspective. From their lens, it’s easier to start a good habit from young, such as waking up early, lest it becomes harder to correct as one ages. And they were right. In NS, I learnt the hard way every morning.
To put it simply, I think this conflict can be easily solved by you. Our parents only want the best for us so let’s now consider their perspective even if we don’t see the benefit at first. At the end of the day, we are responsible for our actions and the consequences they bring. But changing a habit is easier said than done. To start, try sleeping early even on non-schooling days. It will take time for your body clock to adjust, but you’ll get there eventually.
I hope you succeed. Good luck!
Hi Umar! Thank you for sharing with me your past experience. I really enjoyed reading it.
DeleteSee you in class tomorrow!
Dear HuanChoon,
ReplyDeleteI have been in the same situation as you did. I think your mum meant you well as she is afraid that you would be late for your school or classes.
I suggest that you set some alarms yourself in future or maybe wake up earlier to avoid the conflict from happening again.
Cheers,
Gordon
Hi Gordon,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate the comment you have left me.
Cheers,
Huan Choon
Dear HuanChoon,
ReplyDeleteIn the scenario, you were being quite irresponsible. As a teenager, it is normal to be a little rebellious as it is part of growing up. However, you should always respect your mum and not going against her.
In order to resolve this conflict, I would advice you to think before you act. Always think of the consequence first. Thus, you are able to see what is coming. By having this mindset, you will tend to avoid conflict. To better communicate more effectively, both your mum and you should be in a calm environment.
Hope my advice will help you out.
Cheers,
Roland Lau
Hi Roland,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my post. Your kind feedback have been noted. See you in class tomorrow.
Cheers,
Huan Choon
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Huan Choon,
ReplyDeleteI believe as a young boy, you will still be reliant on your mum. However, as you age and grow up, you have learn to be independent and wake up by yourself.
If I were in your shoes, I would probably reflect on myself first to understand why I was late all the time. After finding out the true reason, I will then think of ways to resolve this issue which is to learn how to set alarms on my phone or pester my parents to buy an alarm clock.
I hope you will find my feedback useful.
Best wishes,
Shumin
Hi Shumin,
DeleteThank you for taking time to leave me this kind feedback. I will take note of the suggestions and put it into practice.
With appreciation,
Huan Choon
Dear readers,
ReplyDeleteI would like to thank everyone for taking their time to read this post. After reading all the kind and considerate comments and suggestions, I wish to announce that I have resolved the conflict.
Using the Johari's Window, it has made me become aware of things I do not even realize I do not know. In conflicts, it is usually the unknowns that often lead us to poorer self. Having talking it out, it has shed light to me about me through my mother's perception of the situation. This alone allowed me and my mother to sort out our knowns and unknowns about one another.
This incident has made me realized the importance of having interpersonal communication and will surely help me in the future as part of a life lesson.
Best wishes,
Huan Choon